…who is in constant pursuit to seek ALLAH’s pleasure; one who obey’s what her lord ordered and refrains from what HE dislikes i.e. following Quran; one who strives to acquire the qualities of a good wife by following Prophet PBUH and His female companions; one who emulates the lives of Khadijah, Aaiyehsa, Fatimah,…(may ALLAH be pleased with all of them); one whose nobles actions equates to what Messenger of ALLAH PBUH said “The world is delightful and its greatest treasure is a good woman“. [Sahih Muslim]. Prophet mentioned at another occasion “If a woman prayed five prayers, fasted in Ramadan, protected her honor and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): enter Paradise from any of its (eight) doors.” [Ibn Hibban]
Islamic wife is emplaced as a life partner or a friend and not a servant or slave. Islam has strictly laid down few responsiblities on woman’s shoulders such as pleasing her husband, preserving her modesty, chastity, taking care of husband’s wealth in his absence etc. ALLAH SWT says: Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to ALLAH and to their husbands) and guard in their husband’s absence what ALLAH orders them to guard (e.g. their honor, husbands property, etc) [An Nisa 4:34]. Hence all these responsibilities should not be mistaken for servitude or bondage to men. The messenger of ALLAH has raised the status of woman folk by saying, “Whoever is granted a good wife, he is helped to follow half his religion, let him obey ALLAH in the second half” [Hakim]
If we move a step further we notice that wherever ALLAH SWT mentions about marriage HE cautions the couple to fear ALLAH SWT. The wisdom behind this is that there is no one to moniter the couple in their private affairs so HE continously reminds them to be fearful because everyone has to return to ALLAH SWT one day and HE is all knowing. ALLAH says “And guard yourselves against a day in which you shall be returned to ALLAH; then every soul shall be paid back in full what it has earned, and they shall not be dealt with unjustly” [Al Baqarah 2:281].
During the days of Prophet PBUH there arose a discussion as to who is the best woman in the world. The discussion was still on, Ali (may ALLAH be pleased with him) returned to his house and mentioned the topic to his wife Fatimah RA. She replied “I will tell you who such a woman is? She is the one who does not look at a non-mahram (as defined in shariah) nor provides the opportunity for such a man to look at her.” Ali RA returned to gathering and informed Prophet PBUH about his wife’s defination. The Messenger of ALLAH smiled and said “Fatima is a piece of my heart”. The prophet PBUH said to Umar: “Shall I not tell you of something that is a man’s treasure? A righteous woman who pleases him when he looks at her, when he tells her to do something, she obeys him, and if he is away from her, she is faithful”. [Abu dawood]
The ill mannered wife will take the whole family to Hell faster than a galloping horse. The family will be devoid of peace thereby rupturing delicate fabric of society. Islam has adviced the woman to be soft and sweet spoken with all the sweetness of flower to their husbands; and whenever they encounter a stranger they must cut short their conversation, further more they must talk in a harsh tone. Today, in this era of modrenisation the trend is reverse. Sadly, most women destroy their homes just because of their uncontrollable tongue.
ALLAH SWT has detailed married life and the rights associated with it in Surah Al-Nisa (Chapter 4) and surah Al-Nur (Chapter 24). The righteous predecessors would make it a routine to teach their daughters the commentry [tafsir] of both Surah Al-Nisa and Surah Al-Nur before marriage. If the Muslims of today cannot teach their daughters the entire Quran they should at least teach them the above named Surahs so that they would be well groomed with their rights and responsibilities at the time of marriage.
Most of the righteous predecessors had the habit of making their daughters transcribe the Holy Quran by their own hands. Hence the girl would perform ablution and happily transcribe parts of the Holy Quran daily and when they complete, the father would bind it in gold and this would be given as dower at the time of marriage. MashALLAH! This was the dowry in those times, thereby informing the future husband that whatever free time the girl had in her home was spent in transcribing the Book of ALLAH SWT. Hats off to such pious Muslims.
The Prophet PBUH said, “If I were to order anyone to bow down to other than ALLAH, I would order the wife to do so for her husband. By the One who owns the soul of Muhammad, if a wife does not fulfill her obligations towards her husband, then she will not have fulfilled her obligations towards ALLAH.” [Ahmad]